Looking back

A few more weeks and it's been a year. It don't seem like it though. Every time I call my Grandma's house I still think he'll answer the phone. He was so goofy. He loved to joke with us and he sure knew how to make you happy. His favorite was "pull my finger".

Walking into my Grandma's house after lunch but well to them it was always dinner but still expecting to see him laying in his chair taking his afternoon nap with pugs by his side sleeping as soundly as Grandpa.

Sitting at there kitchen table playing card with Grandma and wondering when he's going to come out to visit.

In the end, he didn't like coming out of his room to company.

Sitting outside on my step and seeing him drive by in his truck, the one that he was ooo so proud of. He'd had it for so many years. Now the money hungry granddaughter has it, even after Grandma asked that it be sold. Not that she needed the money but it was that truck that my Grandpa drove himself in to take his life.Her mom and her just have to take whatever they can, not caring about who they hurt in the process. We all wonder how my Grandma will react when she sees my cousins husband driving the truck. Will she realize it's not her JR? Everyone worries but them. In the end, they will get theres.

I'm proud of my Grandma. She's done really well considering she lost the love of her life, her heart and soul, her everything. No one thought she'd be able to take care of herself but she's proved them all wrong. She's lonely. Sure she likes company but only for a few minutes. She's pining. She's been spending a lot of time out at the cemetery. She says it's nice and quite for her and pugs to walk.

I miss him.

Sept 2nd would of been 61 years since my Grandparents met. They shared something special that you don't see anymore. Marriage doesn't mean what it used to. To many labels.

I always wanted to marry a man like my Grandpa. He had time for ANY of his family or friends and no matter how many hours a day he worked, he always came home and helped my Grandma in the house. Many times having us over for dinner. Us having to call him many times for help. But he never complained.

I miss him